The Taste Of Cinnamon
by SaikaMasaomi
Summary: Sasuke is depressed, and he decides to do something drastic. Never fear, Naruto is here to save the day. Existential!Sasuke, policeman!Naruto, lemons. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

The taste of cinnamon

A/N: I decided that there wasn't enough fics with extestential!Sasuke in them. This has been on my mind for a while, and I even fantasized about doing this myself. But never fear, everyone's favorite author is here. Hey, that rhymes!

DISCLAIMER. IDO, for unfortunately I don't own Naruto. nor do I own thinsticks, The Used or Linkin Park. But I am the proud owner of a P!ATD bracelet.

WARNING: slight age difference, lemons. Boyxboy narusasu read at your own risk. OOC

Before we start, I want to give you some background. Whenever my family goes on road trips, we always, always go to Cracker Barrel. Thin sticks are little thin sticks of candy, kind of like a lollipop, that come in many flavors. Butter and rum is the best. I absolutely hate footnotes. You're welcome.

* * *

Chapter 1 the calming power of thin sticks

I sat quietly in the car listening to music. Linkin Park as per usual. "As per usual" I tend to say that a lot. Maybe because everything I do is so monotonous. Or maybe because...

I heaved a sigh. I was doing it again. Over complicating things. I wish that for once in my life things would be simple and straightforward for once. Like that will ever happen. Even my plan will probably have dire consequences that I won't be around to see. Or maybe not. Maybe no one cares whether I'm here or not. Most likely the latter. But in a couple of hours all my troubles will be gone!

Holding my bag closer to myself I tried to contain my excitement. I was finally going to do it! I was finally going to get away! Away from all the second thoughts, away from my problems, away from simple tasks turned pointless. I would be able to be free. And like anything else, freedom takes planning.

I had thought very carefully about my decision for the past week. Although my behavior has been normal, going to high school being my usual bastardly self, inside, I had been in turmoil.

My walls were slowly caving in, the solitude I had so skillfully surrounded myself with was slowly driving me insane. Not that I minded being alone. I actually enjoyed it. Or, maybe that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite so... Lonely. I was known as something of a "black sheep" within my school. Snapping at anyone who tried to come too close; so naturally people stopped trying.

And sometimes that was the one thing that hurt the most. Knowing that there is hope sitting next to you in class, freedom pushing you in the halls, and escape sitting a table away during lunch (1). Knowing that you're the reason you're stuck like this, you're the reason you eat lunch by yourself everyday, it's just about the worst feeling ever. And you did this to yourself.

So I was going to start fresh. I couldn't keep going like this, especially in my current mental state. Second guessing everything. I like to think that it's unique to me, but it's most likely a part of being a teenager. But I'm just too pathetic to deal with it. Or maybe I'm smarter than all the others. Maybe it is just me. Yeah, I thought, like that's true. Even my confusing thoughts couldn't subtract from the fact that I was sitting in a car, my distant mother and protege brother sitting just a few feet in front of me, with no idea what was going through my head.

My mother turned back to face me, told us we were stopping, and then turn back. She doesn't talk to me, not anymore. Well, to be fair, she doesn't talk to anyone. Except Itachi. The bastard. He just had to be better than me at everything. Even things which I thought I was good at. I guess I am worthless like dad always said.

Stepping out of the car, and then to the glaring sunlight of New Jersey, I glared at the back of my brothers head, walking towards my newest addiction.

My name? Sasuke Uchiha, Konoha North Carolina most wanted bachelor. Of course, the title was comely superficial, bestowed by the stupid hormonal girls in Broughton Highschool. 

* * *

Thoughtfully sucking on a cinnamon flavored thinstick, I got back in the car. Shifting around, leaning with one arm on the cup holders near the window. I could literally hold this position for hours. Lost in thought, I will sit here, unmoving, for hours.

I spent five dollars on the stick shaped deliciousness, well I spent three dollars on a four pack of Coke, but anyway I had 16 flavored sticks to last me, and they were all cinnamon flavored. if I was going to go out, I might as well do it in style. That of addiction I mentioned before? This was it. I was addicted to cinnamon, the way the warm taste flowed over my tastebuds, and flooded my senses was enough to bring me back from even the worst of depressions.

My iPod switched suddenly tracks, 'The Used' Liar Liar blared out through my headphones. I felt like a liar, masquerading as human when it's obvious I'm so much less. But it will all get better soon. It will all be fixed in time.

And so, with the artificial taste of cinnamon thinsticks pervading my mouth, I straightened my shoulders and stared resolutely out the window, seeing the smoky grey haze that was my fate grow closer and closer. 

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A/N: what'd you think? Pretty good for a first chapter, ne?

If you like this, you may (or may not) like my other story, Contest. I think the writing styles are the same.

(1): I know I hate footnotes, and I do, and I won't be using them very often, but what do you think of this line, too strange? And second person in general? Please drop a review telling what you think. Bye!

Later,

~Saika Masomi

UPDATE: 10/18/14: I added more thought, and fixed some grammatical errors. 


	2. 101 ways to say goodbye

A/N: It's time for chapter two! Other than that I don't have much to say.

I updated chapter one, if you don't read the updates, like me, you won't have read it, but go and read it again, things will probably make more sense.

WARNING: suicidal thoughts (this chapter only) mentions of child abuse (nothing too bad). That's about all.

Don't let the warnings get you down, it will get better.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto. Or anything, really, seeing as I'm a minor. But I do own red hair dye. And red hair! I'm really excited about that!

The setting in this chapter is Brooklyn NY.

Chapter 2: 101 ways to say goodbye

I sat on the guest bed of my uncle Madara's house in Brooklyn NY, new bruises forming on my sides. Madara had never liked me, and every time we visited his New York apartment-turned-house (which was often), he always got unnecessarily angry. Now don't get me wrong, Uncle Madara was usually a very angry man, and in the world of street fighting, he was known as the Jyubi. In some ways he reminded me of my father. It was almost uncanny. Well, they are related.

It's just that when I'm here, uncle Madara feels the need to take it out on me. People sure were sad, huh? Just because his wife left him 10 years ago, he feels the need to take it out in some 15 year old? How pathetic is he? He needs to get a grip on his life. I mentally sighed. And u need to get a grip on myself. Almost there and all I could think about was that idiot Madara? One would think that...

Anyway, I had been up for a long time, trying to write the perfect goodbye. I had got Itachi's and moms down pat, and even wrote a note to Madara, saying "fuck you" in really nice hand writing. But I needed one for Suigutsu and Juugo. My two best friends. I needed one to say goodbye, but not too much. I needed them to trust me, without revealing anything. And this would be difficult.

My garbage was already overflowing with crumpled letters, and most were for them. I don't even know how to start.

I took up a pen and started writing.

_Dear Suigutsu and Juugo,_

_I'm sorry I have to tell you like this, I would have wanted to let you know in person, but you see, things have gotten to be pretty bad lately..._

Five minutes later, I put the pen down. Yeah, that was good enough. I was finally ready.

At 2:25 AM Itachi Uchiha was woken up by the sound of the front door closing. He walked tiredly down from the third floor guest room, and saw the front door, closed and locked, just as he had left it.

'Must be my imagination' he thought, as he climbed up to his room. He never noticed that the door to his little brothers room was wide open.

Snuggling into his covers, Itachi fell back asleep.

I leaned against the rail of the Brooklyn bridge, looking down into the dark water. I could feel the wind from the cars passing behind me, the smell of gasoline and smoke assaulting my senses.

My thoughts were moving a million miles per hour. Should I do it? Yes. Yes I would do it. I'm not some coward. Life will be much better for me once I do this. All my problems will go away. But will they really go away? Said that annoying part of my brain again. I couldn't help but have second guesses. I thought of the family I will leave behind,

I thought of snuggling by the fireplace, my head on my moms lap, listening to her read me a story, I thought of Itachi and I in the back yard, playing soccer and baseball. I remembered helping my mother cook, and being able to taste what we made.

Then I remembered the stern face of my father, the distant tone of my mother, and the jeers of my peers at class. I had made the right choice.

With shaky legs I climbed the rail, feeling the wind whip my hair about my face, and jumped.


End file.
